Cheating Time in Satire and Rhyme (Celebrity Juicy Gossip Topics)

Posted by sheila on October 11, 2011 under Ashley Dupre' Eliot Spitzer's call girl, Celebrity Juicy Gossip Topics, Cheating Time in Satire and Rhyme (Famous Names Cheating Game) | Be the First to Comment


“To Catch a Cheat”

Cheats and liars are about the same.  They have no shame, no brains and therefore quite lame.  You might be surprised to find some cheats in the “Hall of Fame” with their names engraved as top players in all sorts of sports.  Strange as it may seem these guys are out for one thing, to screw a dame.

The Unfaithful

Tony Parker NBA superstar has been cheating

Tony the chump gets dumped.  Eva and Tony were in “Seventh Heaven” when they got married in 2007.  They had a European wedding.  Eva the desperate housewife strived to keep her marriage alive with Tony a guy full of baloney.  Now Eva is weeping and has filed for divorce on November 17, 2010 when she found out Tony was cheating with his former teammate’s estranged wife, Erin Barry.  Tony Parker and Brent Barry were teammates playing for the great San Antonio Spurs between 2004-2008.  Since this extramarital affair has come to a bitter end, Eva no longer considers Erin her friend.  Tony counter-sues in Texas while Eva has the blues.  The latest news from Erin Barry is that she did not have an affair with Tony.  Eva and Tony are seen sitting down at Santa Monica’s famous restaurant “Shutters on the Beach” for chow and a pow-wow.  No one is surprised their divorce is finalized.  Eva says she is not bitter about divorcing Parker.  Does 36-year-old Eva have a new lover?  Penelope Cruz’ brother, Eduardo who’s ten years younger.  After dating for over a year Eva and Eduardo have parted ways.  Eva then hooked up with hunky Mark Sanchez, New York Jets’ quarterback, but they officially split after three months of dating.  So far the 37-year-old actress has been an unlucky woman with lots of ex-boyfriends and two failed marriages.  Eva says she’s “Ready for Love” with a new TV dating show.  Perhaps she’ll be lucky to find a new beau.  Well whataya know NBC cancels show due to low viewer ratings.  Guess bachelors searching for love just weren’t ready to jump out of the frying pan into the fire.  Dating show still being aired with June 4th as final episode.

Eva gets into new Lifetime TV drama/comedy series “Devious Maids” produced by and starring the liberal actress.  Show is being criticized by the public in demeaning Hispanics for stereotyping Latina women as domestic housekeepers and even going as far as calling it racist.  Mark Cherry is show’s creator the innovative mind behind “Desperate Housewives.”  Devious Maids begins Lifetime’s second season.

Smitten kitten Eva Longoria finds herself entrepreneur boyfriend Ernesto Arguello an extremely smart fellow.

Sexy Eva Longoria named “Woman of the Year” by Maxim Magazine.

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Brett Favre’s alleged sexting fling

NFL Minnesota Vikings Brett Favre has finally admitted sex texting to former Jets reporter, Jenn Sterger.  Brett denies sending Jenn, the sideline “hostess with the mostest” his nude photos. There is an ongoing investigation, but the NFL was unable to make a connection with cell-phone photos.  Sterger’s manager has new information that connects the photos to Brett.  The 41-year-old quarterback lacks tact.  He should retire after a concussion, spraining his right shoulder and two ankle fractures.  Brett’s wife, Deanna who has survived breast cancer believes faith will get her and many other people through difficult struggles.  Although there was no sufficient evidence to prove allegations that Brett Favre sent nude lewd photos to Jenn Sterger’s phone, he was fined $50,000 for his failure to cooperate with the investigation. The 41-year-old quarterback who lacks tact has more allegations of sexual harassment as two former New York Jet masseuses strike back.  They’ve filed a lawsuit against Brett the so-called brute.  So far no one knows who is telling the truth.  Brett has decided it’s time to quit.  He’s finally retiring after his terrible injuries.  Now that a year has past rumors have it that Favre may be Michael Vick’s offense backup which he is familiar with.  Favre has rapport with Eagles coach Andy Reid and the quarterback has changed his mind many times.  Well it looks like the Philadelphia Eagles have signed Vince Young of the Titans to be on Vick’s dream team.

Friday, May 24, 2013 New York City attorney had no comment on terms of settlement regarding brute of a lawsuit against retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre for racy “penis” sexting to two message therapists in 2008 when he was with NY Jets.

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Shame, Shame Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor

Former New York Giants linebacker and NFL Pro football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor may land in the can on sexual charges leading to a third-degree felony. Taylor posted $75,000 in bail which keeps him out of jail.  He’s been indicted by a Grand Jury on third-degree rape and criminal abuse of an underage runaway NYC prostitute.  On May 6, 2010 the police arrest Lawrence Taylor for allegedly paying a 16-year-old $300 when she was brought to his hotel room at the Holiday Inn, Suffern, New York by a pimp to screw.  New York City federal prosecutors charge Rasheed Davis, the pimp with allegedly assaulting and endangering the welfare of a teen.  The girl’s uncle who lives in the Bronx called 911 to report her missing and that she had been text messaging.  Lawrence Taylor was in court on July 13th with his attorney, Arthur Aidala, a legal paid analyst for Fox News who entered a plea of “not guilty.” Taylor appeared on “Dancing with the Stars” last year.  His trial will be in 2011 where Taylor could face four years in prison.  At one time he was abusing alcohol and drugs.  On January 14, 2011 Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor plead guilty to a lesser charge and received 6 years probation for his improper sexual behavior with a prostitute, an underage Bronx runaway.  He is now registered as a “sex offender.” Taylor is set for an April 12th hearing at which time a judge will decide the level of his sex offender crime.  In the meantime the unnamed victim who  is now 17 and represented by Gloria Allred is suing him.  Judge ruled former Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor is a low-risk level 1 sex offender.  It’s just a slap on the back.  Jury acquits Lawrence Taylor of civil lawsuit filed by 16-year-old hooker Cristina Fierro who he tapped in the sack that would have cost him millions.

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Steve McNair’s Deadly Love Affair

Now it’s time for the deadly love story of former national league football star, Steve McNair and his extramarital affair.  He was found dead in his bed lying next to the cold body of 20-year-old girlfriend who must have been in great despair when she shot McNair twice in the chest and head.

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Bold Kobe!

Kobe Bean Bryant a professional NBA basketball superstar had a sexual-assault charge.  Bryant the guy labeled as “Mr. Clean” for his untarnished image denied allegations in June, 2003 that he attacked a teen employee at the Lodge & Spa Resort in Colorado, but did admit to sexual contact.  Charges were dropped as the victim declined to testify and an unspecified settlement was reached in a civil lawsuit. Kobe did not want to be scrutinized as a brute.  Some time later he apologized to the young woman, her family, friends and the citizens of Eagle, Colorado for his behavior.  In April 2011 Kobe at LA Laker game shouts out anti “gay slur” to the referee later apologizing for his actions and taking full responsibility.

In December, 2011 Kobe’s 29-year-old wife Vanessa went to divorce court claiming her husband was cheating.  There is no “prenup” which according to California law a wife can get half so Vanessa is entitled to Kobe’s money amounting to $75 million including three Newport Beach mansions.

On January 11, 2013 it’s a bright new year for Lakers star Kobe Bryant and wife Vanessa who are pleased to announce they are reconciling calling off their divorce proceedings.

On March 13, 2013 Los Angeles Lakers’ Kobe Bryant severely sprained his left ankle.  He underwent surgery and will be out of the game indefinitely.

Now that Kobe is back on the basketball court he’s got another injury to his Achilles.  The icon will be out for entire season.  It’s bedtime for Kobe!

Laker star’s mother Pamela Bryant comes out of the closet with Kobe’s memorabilia after she receives $450,000 from Goldin auctions.  Kobe suing mommy over his property.  Doesn’t look like Pam gives a damn.

Kobe on Jimmy Kimmel Live promoting his charity at Nokia Theater on August 15th to raise money toward eliminating the homeless in LA.  “Kobe Up Close” featuring Bryant talking about his career and some of his favorite stories with Jimmy.  Tickets range from $25 to $200.  All proceeds will be benefiting the Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Family Foundation partnership with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center’s Sports Spectacular to assist underserved communities.  Kobe is not expected to return to his basketball career until October due to his Achilles injury.

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Many politicians play the same cheating game.  Former  V.P. Al Gore of Tennessee, Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York, Former Gov. Marshall Clement “Mark” Sanford, Jr. of South Carolina and former Senator and “2008″ presidential candidate John Edwards of North Carolina went down the drain in political shame by ruining their good names.

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Al Gore’s alleged sexual encounter with a masseuse

In 2006 a complaint was reported to the Portland District Attorney’s Office against former VP Al Gore of Nashville, Tennessee by an unidentified 54-year-old masseuse.  At that time the Portland woman made up her mind not to proceed with a criminal investigation into her sexual encounter with Al Gore.  On January 8, 2009 Molly Hagerty, the therapist re-filed a complaint alleging Gore checked into the Lucia Hotel in Portland under the anonymous name of Mr. Stone, then made an appointment for a massage in his room and that’s when Gore sexually assaulted her.  In May, 2010 she considered suing Al Gore instead the masseuse decided to contact the National Enquirer to see if they would be willing to print her story for a whopping $1 million.  The masseuse claims she has DNA of the alleged sexual groping by Gore and has consulted with an attorney.  Gore has denied sexually assaulting the therapist.

On June 1st, Al Gore and his wife Tipper announced that after 40 years of marriage they’ve decided to split.  Authorities have carefully investigated the masseuse’s allegations and found no DNA on a pair of pants, including a non-credible witness who turns out to be a homeless person, plus the fact that she failed to pass a lie detector test, her story would not stand up in a court of law.  Two more masseuses have come forward claiming Gore’s inappropriate behavior.  In one incident he allegedly was naked and asked the massage therapist to take care of his peck.  The Gore’s spokeswoman said they are not upset over these latest allegations generated by tabloids for the stories are inaccurate and misleading.  The public thought Gore was as a bore, but now they’re wondering if he lured the masseuse.  After examining conflicting witness statements and insufficient evidence Portland, Oregon prosecutors have concluded that allegations filed in 2006 of sexual assault on a masseuse by Gore are dismissed.

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Client #9 – Rich Spitz “Sheriff of Wall Street” kicked out of politics

Former “Lovey Govey” Spitzer’s illicit affair with Ashley Dupre’ a one-night stand high-priced call-girl kicked him out of politics.  His wife and family decided to stick with “stiff-dick” Spitz.  There’s now an explosive documentary at the Tribeca Film Festival which depicts “Client #9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer” his family, friends, the tales and woes of corporate foes and Spitzer’s connections with Cee Cee Suwal, a former madam who ran a prostitute ring while he was an elite member of the “Emperors Club VIP.”  Many NYC voters would like to see Eliot Spitzer run for Mayor in 2013.  Spitzer says he’s flattered, but it’s never going to happen.  He’ll just stick to his family’s real estate assets in Manhattan.

Money talks on October 4th, 2010 as Eliot Spitzer along with Kathleen Parker, a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist host their own CNN primetime news show.  Cee Cee Suwal spent six months in jail after she was linked to Spitzer and a prostitution ring.  Cee Cee meets the ladies of “The View” and admits that some prostitutes were paid up to $250,000 a week.  We now hear Kathleen Parker Washington Post Columnist  is leaving CNN.  It’s just a matter of when.  Parker and Spitz had a rift.  Man overpowers woman journalist.  Will this be a one-man talk show?  I don’t think so.  The new primetime name has been changed to “In the Arena.”  Spitz you got a pair of balls – I should say a “big wiener.”  Beautiful E.D. Hill from Fox News has replaced Kathleen Parker, an opinion writer.  Now spunky Erin Burnett vents her news sense on CNN’s 7pm “Out Front.”  From MSNBC “Countdown” for eight years to less than a year on Current TV this will be Keith Olbermann’s “second” firing.  He’s quickly replaced by none other than the rich Eliot Spitzer hosting “Viewpoint” his new gig.  Current TV founders are Al Gore and Joe Hyatt.  Now Keith Olbermann is suing Current TV demanding the remainder of $50 million he signed up for, but network does not want to pay because of Olbermann’s alleged multiple breaches of contract which they point out “Countdown” host said on David Letterman Late Show that his termination was “my fault” and that “I screwed up.”  Tough luck Olbermann!  Current TV countersues Olbermann so are we supposed to feel sorry for him?

Are these two guys still under the microscope since Eliot Spitzer is running for NYC  Comptroller and Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner in the race for NYC mayor?  Can people put aside their sex lies?  Weiner liked showing off his muscles while Spitz made a hit with his dick!  Now Spitz and wife split.  She had enough of his prostitute shit.  Spitz doesn’t care as he’s spending time romancing a new girlfriend.

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Sanford tried to be discreet – Turned out to be a cheat

Gov. Sanford’s ex-wife, Jenny gets a new life.  She’s finally granted a divorce from her husband, Mark after 20 years of marriage because of his infidelity.  He admitted philandering with Maria Belen Chapur, an Argentinean beauty.  She was his “soul mate.” It was like Mark drove a stake straight through Jenny’s heart. Their marriage fell apart.  If you have the housewife blues, it’s time to read Jenny’s book “Staying True.” Don’t let that lousy spouse screw you.

It didn’t take long for Jenny to mend.  She found herself a new boyfriend.  He’s Clay Boardman an Augusta, Georgia businessman who’s also been through divorce court.

South Carolina lawmakers after thoroughly discussing the governor’s misconduct have reached the conclusion that Mark Sanford will not be impeached.  The governor pleaded not guilty, but agreed to pay $74,000 in fines when he broke the state ethics rules and traveled five days in June to Brazil for sex and thrills. Sanford also agreed to pay $36,498 penalty for an investigation into his itinerary that he used the state’s private aircraft, purchased expensive airline tickets and misappropriating campaign money. South Carolina is changing the rules so next time they don’t get screwed.  The disgraced Governor will not face criminal charges in the ethics case.

Is there a chance for Mark Sanford to rekindle his romance with Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentinean beauty now that he’s been through divorce proceedings?  The two were seen together in the Florida Keys.

Two-Term Republican Governor Mark Sanford is now a Fox News Political Commentator through “2012″ elections.  Sanford got engaged to his Argentinean ex-mistress.

Jenny Sullivan Sanford is being considered for Senator of South Carolina now that Senator Jim DeMint will be resigning.  Jenny will not be running for Congress, but her ex-husband Mark Sanford is seeking his old congressional South Carolina seat.

Mark Sanford former South Carolina governor wins back old seat after scandalous affair defeating Democratic businesswoman Elizabeth Colbert Busch sister of political satirist Stephen Colbert while Sanford’s Brazilian mistress/fiancee Argentinian beauty Marie Belen Chapur stood beside him after he claimed victory.

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John Edwards apologized for sex scandal and lies

Next in line is former North Carolina senator and “2008″ presidential candidate John Edwards who is trying to stay away from his ex-mistress and campaign videographer, 45-year-old Rielle Hunter aka Lisa Druck, who Edwards says he didn’t f**k.   She is asking for $17,910 a month in child support for her baby daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter which Edwards refuses to pay.  Looks like Edwards wants to get away from acknowledging that he’s the daddy of her sweet baby.

It comes as no surprise that Andrew Young, a former aide was Edward’s fall guy.  Young lied for Edwards and said he was the daddy of the Rielle Hunter’s baby.  In the meantime Hunter is planning to sue.  If Edwards only knew what he was getting into.  An ex-politician with no brains and no shame.  This cheating louse buys his ex-mistress a house.

John Edwards’ spouse Elizabeth who is suffering from Cancer wants to personally meet the 22-month-old baby, Frances Quinn Hunter and is insisting that her husband ought to pay for child support.

Teary-eyed Elizabeth and her cheating spouse, John have signed a separation agreement after being married for 32 years.  John is sleeping with the other animals in his family’s barn.  Some anonymous sources claim that John might have harmed Elizabeth.  Edwards has gotten himself into an ugly mess.

John Edwards’ “dirty little secret” after taking a DNA paternity test has finally been exposed.   Now the whole world knows that he is the illegitimate daddy of his former mistress, Rielle Hunter’s nearly two-year-old baby.

It’s been revealed by a racy newspaper claiming that John Edwards asked Rielle Hunter to marry him after announcing he is the father of her baby.  More gossip is rolling in that John and Rielle are engaged which Edwards absolutely denies any validity to these stories.

From baby trouble to earthquake rubble John Edwards shows up on the island of Haiti.  Maybe Edwards wants the world to know that he’s human after all.

John Edwards’ ex-aide Andrew Young wrote a piercing sensational tell-it-all book “The Politician” an unflattering story of John and Elizabeth Edwards which should stun the nation. Edwards’ former staffer claimed to be the daddy of Rielle Hunter’s baby.

Young has a tape which he plans to reveal on the sexy details of John Edwards and Rielle Hunter’s shady love affair.  Andrew Young’s interview will be aired on ABC’s “20/20.”

John Edwards’ former mistress, Rielle Hunter is suing Andrew Young and his wife, Cheri for invasion of privacy over a video Young claims shows Edwards and Rielle Hunter in a sexual encounter.

Andrew Young said the only copy of this sex tape is locked up in an Atlanta safe deposit box.  North Carolina Superior Judge court orders Young to turn over the alleged sex tape which Mr. Young claims depicts a pregnant Rielle Hunter and John Edwards in the nude performing unprotected oral sex.

Judge Abraham Penn has sentenced Andrew Young and his wife, Cheri to 75 days in the pokey as the judge believes they have not told the truth about other copies of the sex tape while giving their sworn testimony.

Rielle Hunter “spills the beans” to GQ Magazine in an exclusive one-on-one interview.  She got the hots right on the spot for “Johnny” Reid Edwards when they first met in 2006 inside the lobby of the Regency in NYC.  Later that evening they went up to his hotel room and screwed.

Rielle reveals her stuffed “animal instinct” in racy photos for GQ the popular men’s magazine wearing a white shirt and surrounded by white sheets looking like “Mrs. Clean.”

Meanwhile John Edwards is being investigated by federal authorities under a grand jury indictment for using presidential campaign money to cover up the love affair he had with Rielle, his blonde honey.  Elizabeth Edwards maybe testifying against her estranged hubby.  Subpoenas have been issued.

Last by not least, Elizabeth is left with a broken heart.  Under North Carolina law a person has the right to sue a “third party” for the breakup of a marriage which Elizabeth Edwards intends to do and has threatened Andrew Young for contributing to her marriage that fell apart.

Elizabeth Edwards decided to get things off her chest by writing a book titled “Resilience” the painful story of a woman suffering from Cancer and a cheating husband who confessed to screwing Rielle Hunter, his mistress.

The National Enquirer is up for the Pulitzer Prize in Journalism since breaking the secret love story of John and Rielle forcing Edwards to admit that he is the daddy of Hunter’s baby.

Rielle Hunter sits down and chitchats with Oprah Winfrey  about her sexy encounter with Johnny.  Rielle says, “I’m no home wrecker.”  Oops!  I forgot to put on my panties posing in a photo shoot.  Of course Johnny thought I looked cute.

Two ex-aides of former Presidential candidate John Edwards took the stand and testified before a federal grand jury probing into alleged campaign payments made to Rielle Hunter, the hottie mistress and videographer.

Elizabeth Edwards’ health is failing.  Treatments for breast cancer are not helping.  Her three children Catharine, Emma Claire, Jack and husband, John were by her side hoping and praying she does not die.  On Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at the age of 61 Elizabeth passed away.  She was a brave lady.  Mary Elizabeth Anania Edwards died in her home at Chapel Hill, North Carolina (July 3, 1949 – Dec. 7, 2010) “A life to be remembered.”

No more than 3 weeks have passed since Elizabeth Edwards dropped dead that sleazy cheating 56-year-old John Edwards proposes to his mistress Rielle Hunter the blonde bombshell who he can’t wait to get into bed.  John John uses “no condoms.”

John Edwards is deposed in Chapel, N.C. regarding a civil suit filed by Rielle Hunter against Edwards’ former ex-aide Andrew Young in connection with an alleged “Edwards/Hunter” sex tape.

John who had a hard on for Rielle had the nerve to call her a moron for not disposing of the sex tape when he’s nothing but a “lying snake” and a disgrace.

The former senator and two-time presidential candidate awaits his fate for allegedly misusing campaign funds before a North Carolina Grand Jury over gravy money from supporters given to Edwards which took care of mistress, Rielle Hunter and their secret baby.  John Edwards might lose his law license and receive prison time for this crime if indicted.

On June 3rd, 2011 a North Carolina Federal Grand Jury has indicted John Edwards for illegally using nearly $1 million in political funds including conspiracy by giving hush money to former aide Andrew Young to cover up the secret love child with his mistress, Rielle Hunter.  Does it pay to have a good lay?

57-year-old John Edwards has rejected a plea deal which would have landed him in the pokey for six months with the possibility of losing his law license.  Since rejecting the plea Edwards is now facing 30 years in a federal prison.  Mug shot released of the political thief.  John Edwards’ trial is set for October.

It’s reckoning day for former “2008″ presidential candidate as Federal Election Commission rules Edwards was not allowed to keep campaign funds after he dropped out of the race.  He must repay $2.3 million to U.S. Treasury.  White House counsel who represented Edwards on his arraignment for allegedly misusing campaign finances leaves defense team while another prominent Washington attorney Abbey Lowell may be taking over.

Lawyers for Edwards filed motions to dismiss his alleged misuse of campaign contributions and other charges.

On Saturday, October 22nd, 2012 inside a Methodist Chapel Hill, North Carolina church John Edwards’ daughter Cate, a lawyer marries her college sweetheart Dr. Trevor Upham with a candle lighting ceremony at the altar in memory of her mother.  A reception for the charming couple was held at the family farm.  Cate dedicates time to the “Elizabeth Edwards Foundation” in lieu of her legal profession.

Former Democratic Senator John Edwards appears in Greensboro, N.C. courtroom on Wednesday, October 26, 2012 with his lawyers asking a federal judge to dismiss alleged charges of misusing campaign contributions on grounds that the government exceeds election powers.  Edwards still claims no wrongdoing, but did give $1 million to his mistress who at the time was carrying his baby while his wife was dying.

Federal Judge delays Edwards’ trial until January, 2012 as defense team says it needs more time to review thousands of documents and interview hundreds of witnesses.

Now John Edwards wants another delay stating he is not feeling well, but it seems he may want to marry Rielle.  Then she can’t testify at his trial.

Scheduled hearing  before Federal Judge on Friday, January 13th, 2012 reveals John Edwards needs urgent life-threatening heart surgery.

On Monday, January 30th, 2012 a North Carolina Judge postpones former Edwards’ aide, Andrew Young contempt hearing due to unassigned prosecutor.

John Edwards and Rielle Hunter’s sex tape to be destroyed after settlement reached.  What a relief for “Edwards the Cheat.”  Andrew Young, author of “The Politician” said he found the tape in the trash one day after Rielle moved out of their “lovey-dovey” secret hideaway.  Then Rielle sued Andrew.

On Thursday, March 15, 2012 Federal Judge allows John Edwards former two-time Democratic Presidential candidate to hire two lawyers who recently represented his mistress, Rielle Hunter for the upcoming April criminal trial.  Hunter would obviously be called to the witness stand giving her testimony that she and Edwards had an ongoing affair during his campaign for the presidency acknowledging cash payments and benefits covering from medical care to living expenses, furniture, clothing, luxury vacations and accommodations concealing her and their baby.  Edwards has plead “Not Guilty.”

Oops he did it again!  Former North Carolina Senator and once presidential Democratic candidate John Edwards’ name was first to pop up in little black book with NYC “Millionaire Madam (or) Soccer Mom Madam” which he emphatically denies any connection with one of Anna Cristina’s highly-priced hooker during “2007″ campaign stopover in NYC at the swanky Park Avenue Loew’s Regency.  This same hotel is where Edwards stayed, spent thousands and first met Rielle Hunter, the videographer when his wife, Elizabeth was dying from Cancer.  A week before Elizabeth’s death she left John out of her Will leaving  money and possessions to the children.  John got on his knees proposing to Rielle just three weeks after burying his wife, Elizabeth.  The two love birds are currently living and sharing a home in North Carolina where eventually they will all be one big happy family.

On Monday, March 26th recently filed motions will be discussed at the Federal Courthouse in Greensboro.   Prosecutors ask defense team not to bring up John Edwards’ health issues, possible sentencing if found guilty and contempt proceedings involving his mistress Rielle Hunter and Andrew Young former campaign aide sex tape case.

On Thursday, April 12th in Greensboro, North Carolina the long-awaited John Edwards’ trial jury selection begins.  Testimony began Monday, April 30th with former campaign staff member, Andrew Young taking the witness stand.  Young says he feared for his life and claimed paternity of Edwards’ child that the former democratic presidential candidate tried to hide.  David Harbach, a member of the prosecution team walked the jury through Mr. Young’s relationship with Edwards’ family and his connection to Ms. Rachel (nickname “Bunny”) Mellon, an elderly (101 years old) banking heiress outraged by criticism who contributed $725,000 said she would do anything to support John Edwards’ presidential campaign including his “expensive $400 haircuts” please send the bills to me in writing to Mr. Young.  The government will try to prove that John Edwards a two-time presidential hopeful very well knew that donor campaign funds from Ms. Mellon and another wealthy individual were “illegal” contributions.  “It’s not a federal crime to have an affair” said prosecutor.  Allison Van Laningham, a local defense counsel with a “southern accent” based her argument that the payment was a scam by Mr. Young and his wife, Cheri to use hundreds of thousands of dollars from Ms. Mellon to build a home in Chapel Hill not far from the Edwards’ family estate.  Besides these expensive “pretty boy haircuts” payments went to cover medical expenses of John Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter who gave birth to their daughter in 2008 and to keep their relation a secret.  Mr. Edwards went along with this plan to avoid humiliation for himself and his wife, Elizabeth.   “It never crossed his mind that this campaign money would be in violation of the finance campaign law” counselor told the jury.  Mr. Edwards has suffered “the destruction of pride and the birth of humility.”  John Edwards is a man who committed many sins, but no crime.”  Listening to all the shameful details was Edwards’ eldest daughter, Cate Edwards Upham, who did leave the courtroom on one occasion crying, is a lawyer who was helping advise his defense team.  John Edwards’ parents Bobbie and Wallace were sitting beside her.  The trial is expected to last for at least six weeks.  Mr. Edwards who is now 58 years old faces a sentence of up to 30 years in a federal prison on all six counts and $1.5 million in fines if he’s convicted.  Defense presents “Motion to Dismiss” which judge rejects stating case will go to the jury.  Defense rests its case without calling to the witness stand John Edwards, his daughter and slutty mistress Rielle Hunter.  The jury which consists of eight men and four women are now into their ninth day of deliberations as John Edwards awaits his fate.  Jury admits they did not have enough evidence to convict John Edwards.  The disgraced former Senator and Presidential Democratic candidate was found not guilty on one of six counts as Judge Catherine Eagles ruled it’s a hung jury and declares a mistrial.  So far prosecutors did not say whether they will retry the case.  Outside the courthouse a glum and choked up Edwards told the public he thanked his parents and daughter Cate who stood behind him every day through the painful testimony.   He also spoke of his precious daughter Quinn, the child of  his mistress.  Edwards said he would not fade into obscurity.  Now his mistress, Rielle Hunter is coming out with her tell-it-all book (hook, line and sinker) “What Really Happened” the John Edwards’ career-ending sexual encounter and their daughter.  An affair to remember.  Hunter who promoted her book on “The View” admits she was a “homewrecker” who desired John’s pecker!

On Wednesday, June 13th the Justice Department announced it will not retry corruption charges against John Edwards “Mr. Wise Guy.”  At the trial Edwards apologized to the public and family for his misdeeds.

On June 5, 2013 former Senator John Edwards announced that he is planning to open a Raleigh, North Carolina law firm in September, 2013 focusing on a plaintiff-practice.

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Ashley Dupre’ call-girl to New York Post sex columnist to lingerie

Let’s see what former NY Gov. Spitzer’s side dish Ashley Dupre’ has to say. The “ex-call-girl” Eliot’s one-night-stand tells it all as a sex columnist for the New York Post, Ask Ashley, the “sexy host” with the most.  This rich bitch gives advice and tips on sexual relationships.  Do ex-whores get paid more?  Now Dupre’ opens a lingerie store from sexy bras to panties “Femme by Ashley” located at the Jersey Shore.

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The Rise and Fall of a Mighty Sexy Tiger

Tiger Woods tried to be discreet, but now his apologetic words are on the street.  Tiger has to face the public disgrace that he committed infidelity and cheated on his wife and family.  It’s difficult to hide once you’re a celebrity.  “What’s mine is mine and what’s his is mine.”  Tiger’s fate when he pulled down his drawers and scored.  “Bad Boy” has fling for “girlie things.”  Condoms maybe his biggest sponsor.

Tiger’s beautiful Swedish wife Elin Nordegren who previously was a nanny and teen swimsuit model, buys her own six-bedroom home on the faraway small island of Faglaro, called Faglaro farm in Sweden.  After Tiger’s infidelity why would Elin want to be in the same house with a cheating spouse?  Violating one’s trust can definitely harm anybody psychologically.

Elin is suffering from all the publicity and humility.  She’s been spotted not wearing her wedding ring. Is Elin leaving or staying? This beautiful young lady maybe filing papers in the State of California under their “no-fault divorce” law for an equal share of money and property.

The bookies set odds that Tiger and Elin will split with the prospects of a divorce settlement, plus what’s up with Tiger Woods’ future on the “green scene?”

There’s a string of rumors going around that Elin wants full custody of the children and half of everything. Split down the middle Elin would get $300 million.  A large pill for Tiger to swallow.  Meanwhile the word is out that Tiger refuses help for his sex and pill addiction.  His life maybe straight downhill.

From an underwear model to a nightclub cocktail waitress, high-priced call girls, a cougar, stripper and two “porn stars,” Tiger loved and adored “14″ alleged mistresses perhaps more.  The women say they are not whores. No one is really sure. They’re all coming out of the woodwork with their “kiss-and-tell” how they fell for Tiger the jerk.

Never judge a book by its cover, Tiger the mysterious lover. When all is said and done, Tiger’s father, Earl Woods was no different than his son.  Tiger’s Mom, Kultilda (Tida) had to deal with her husband’s infidelity.  Meanwhile Tiger sets sail on his $22 million dollar 155-foot yacht “Privacy” for a lonely holiday away from the family with a bunch of cronies.  Tiger needs time to analyze everything that’s happening. Some witnesses believe Tiger’s yacht is still docked.

Now we hear that Tiger got a court order to block his nude photos, but it maybe too late as Playgirl has come on the scene waiting to confirm the authenticity of these nude pics then they’ll be published in their magazine.  Were the alleged mistresses paid big bucks to keep their mouth shut?  How much did Tiger pay for each “f – – k?”

Some sponsors have stopped advertising as Tiger wants his privacy.  While Tiger lays low Proctor & Gamble’s Gillette officially phases out the pro’s razor shaves.  Other giant companies such as Nike, EA Sports and Upper Deck are losing money over Tiger’s infidelity, but so far they are sponsoring.

Pepsi’s Gatorade Tiger Focus drink, Kellogg’s and Accenture were the first to go.  They will no longer sponsor the golf pro. AT&T will not be sponsoring Tiger for its text messaging.  They’ve decided he’s not the right man for their cell phone service plans.

The clock stops as TAG Heuer the famous Swiss watchmaker drops Tiger from its U.S. advertising campaign.  In light of all the shame and drama Tiger receives “PGA Tour Player of the Year award” while the Associated Press names Tiger “Athlete of the Decade” discounting his escapades.

Since Tiger’s car crash and surmounting infidelities, GM has officially announced they will no longer be sponsoring the golf pro.

Well here’s some good news. TAG Heuer has changed its view and decides to stand behind their man.  Maybe the watch company believes like Nike that loyalty is the best policy.

An Orlando Corona cigar company is playing up to Tiger by offering $100,000 to sponsor the golf pro celebrity.  It’s great publicity for the company, but will this “smoke deal” appeal to the mighty sexy Tiger?

The Tiger brand for “golf’s first billion-dollar man.”  This Westchester County, NY company is racking up sales for its “Lucky Tiger” classic barbershop brand.

Here’s a sponsor with a big heart.  Electronic Arts is standing by their friend Tiger to the bitter end.  This #2 video game company is sticking like glue.

Tiger has screwed shareholders and sponsors out of billions of dollars. When Tiger stopped playing TV ratings dropped.

Tiger Woods’ infidelity could be turned into  a Hollywood movie starring actor, Cuba Gooding Jr. playing the role of a troubled golf pro and his sensational escapades of the alleged “14″ whores that he laid.

The sad news is that Tiger registered into a six-week program at this “no-frills” Pine Grove Behavioral Rehab Facility in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in December, 2009 for group therapy and treatment of sex addiction.

It’s fact not fiction that Tiger’s wife, Elin has been spotted wearing her engagement and wedding rings.  The blonde beauty has supposedly threatened to take their children to Sweden unless Tiger promised to stop cheating and enter a rehab facility.  Elin has been seen visiting Tiger and it’s believed the divorce is off.

Tiger has shocked us by going topless on the cover of Vanity Fair. Looks like this golf pro is raring to go.  Of course who would have guessed he already undressed to have sex with “14″ alleged mistresses.

Brit Hume, newscaster for Fox news, has stated that if Tiger put Christianity into his life it would definitely take away the sins of infidelity.  Tiger favors his mother’s religion Buddhism.  Maybe Tiger Woods should change his line of business. If he could only rap n da hood like Rapper Maino with his newest single go “Get “Em Tiger.”  Perhaps Woods has wised up to all the bad stuff.

Well here’s a new scam by a Colorado man who was arrested on federal charges for placing on store shelves smart “Pop Art” pictures of Tiger Woods and his wife onto Gatorade Tropical-Mango bottle labels which read “Unfaithful.”  What will some people think of next to make a fast buck?   Tiger was just looking for a damn good “f – – k.”

Who knew Tiger would be coming to the rescue of Haitian victims by donating $3 million to Wyclef Jean’s Foundation hoping to create a mobile facility in Haiti.  Maybe this will dampen Tiger’s escapades of infidelity.

There are rumors that Tiger is laying low somewhere in South Africa hiding from the media.  Shame shame to a guy with no brains.

It may not be a big deal, but here comes 20-year-old Rickie Fowler from Oklahoma who might steal the show from Tiger the golf pro.  This up and coming PGA Rookie is the newest thing on the putting green.  He’s very good and could be the next Tiger Woods.

When flowers bloom in the spring Tiger hopes to be returning to the putting green.  Tiger is not sure if he will be ready for the PGA tour.  Will he be faithful to the “U.S. Masters” in April?

President Obama in a recent interview stated that he believes Tiger can “turn over a new leaf” despite his infidelities.  I’m sure Tiger feels terrible and will try to put his life back on the right track.

On February 18, 2010, Tiger gives a 13-minute apology on national TV.  He says, “I’m deeply sorry for not only behaving selfishly but irresponsibly and will continue my in-patient therapy.” Tiger blames fortune and fame on his infidelities.  He tells a small audience, “I was never on performance-enhanced drugs.  My wife never hit me before or after the nasty car crash.”

Tiger apologizes to the fans and wants to save his marriage after the pain and agony he caused his wife and family.  His words were cold as he scolded the press.  Tiger told them he wants privacy when it comes to his family.  Why should Woods be different from any other celebrity that is pursued by the Paparazzi?

Tiger’s Mom (Tida) sits with the other attendees and appears to be uptight listening to her son apologizing.  She then gets up and throws her arms around him showing love and affection.  Kutilda (Tida) Woods told the press how proud she is of her son and that he can be a better person.  She feels he has been treated unfairly and wants everybody to know her son has a good heart and soul. Buddhism will help him.

Woods makes no mention or apology to the distress he caused his ex-mistresses, in particular his “11th” alleged mistress, which Gloria Allred defends, a 32-year-old former porn star named Veronica Siwik-Daniels, aka Joslyn James.  The sensational stripper who gave up the porn star business at Tiger’s request and went into hiding after the scandalous news.  Now James feels she’s been used.  James claims Tiger made her pregnant during their three-year love affair resulting in a miscarriage and an abortion.  James became very emotional and started to cry when Woods apologized.  After Woods’ apology he was seen with his wife, Elin at their villa in Windermere, Florida.

Will the public forgive and forget? Don’t fret for Tiger.  This golf pro is a sure bet.  Tiger knows he’s the best.

Cheating on a spouse is domestic abuse.  Tiger was a recluse, liar and a louse.  Elin might have kicked Tiger out of the house.

There’s still more sad news for a Tiger with the blues.  Tiger checked into The Meadows an Arizona rehab facility supposedly for the treatment of prescription medication not sex addiction. Woods took “Ambien” a sleeping pill as he was dismayed when his dad passed away.

The FBI is investigating ties between a Canadian doctor and Tiger with the possibility of performance-enhancing drugs.  Tiger says he was never a drug user.  The guy is definitely a loser.  It seems Tiger got lost in his scheming sex flings.

Well what do you know Tiger the seasoned golf pro shows up at his home in Orlando after spending one week in an Arizona rehab facility for family counseling. He’s back into his old routine of exercising and practicing on the putting green.  No one knows for sure when Tiger will be returning to the golf scene.

Steve Williams Tiger’s caddie for 11 years claims he knew nothing about Woods’ intimate sex flings.  Williams stands by his man. Tiger has a wonderful wife and family, but he’s certainly let them down due to his shortcomings.

Now here’s an Irish bookie “Paddy Power” that’s not very happy. Guess they thought Tiger would accept their five-year $75 million dollar sponsorship.  Can Tiger afford to be picky?

Tiger’s Mom, Tida is rooting for her son and believes Elin should do the same thing.  Tida forgave her husband, Earl Woods for his infidelities.  Elin and Tida may not totally agree, but one thing is for sure they both adore Tiger.  After all he does bring home the bread and butter.

Who knew Ari Fleischer, former press secretary to President Bush was into the sports communication business.  Ari Fleischer has been helping sports legends out of their rough situations. Tiger recently hired Ari to repair his scandalous image as he’s preparing a triumphant comeback to the putting green in Orlando on March 25th at the Bay Hill Club and Lodge, Arnold Palmer Golf Tournament.  There’s also the possibility that Tiger will come out swinging his irons in April for the U.S. Masters at the National Golf Club in Augusta, GA.

This just came in that for some reason Ari Fleischer has left the Tiger team.  Guess Tiger is ready to once again live his dream.

Now let’s get back to Tiger’s messy Thanksgiving nasty car crash. He was issued and fined $164 for careless driving when officers arrived on the scene.  So far an investigative report reveals some of the details.  An ambulance takes an unconscious and bloody 33-year-old Tiger Woods to the hospital right after he crashed his 2009 Cadillac SUV into a fire hydrant and neighbor’s tree in the wee hours of the morning.  His wife, Elin used a golf club to break the rear window and set him free.  Elin hands over to Florida Highway Patrol troopers a couple of bottles of pain medicine. Who knows if it was some type of sedative.  Elin tried to board the ambulance, but the paramedic crew did not allow her stating it was a “domestic violence” case. Florida Highway Patrol officer tried to get Tiger’s blood results to complete the investigation, but was told he would need a warrant for any relevant hospital information.  The file is still under lock and key for Tiger is a celebrity.

Here’s some upcoming entertaining news for the public to view. Tiger will be animated in Comedy Central’s opening episode of the “South Park” television show.  There’s a clip of Tiger at the podium making a public apology and stating how he could get away with anything.  Guess he’s referring to his sex flings.

Well it’s “tee time” for golf enthusiasts as Tiger has announced that he will be playing at the U.S. Masters in Augusta, GA beginning April 8th while continuing his in-patient therapy.

Will golf be the same popular game? Tiger’s fame may overshadow his shame.  Does Tiger have more stripes against him?  Can he win back the love and affection of Elin?

Lights, camera, action! Former porn star Joslyn James has her moment of fame.  It certainly doesn’t look good for Woods as James plastered over “100″ alleged rough sex text messages between her and Tiger with racy photos on the Internet.  Tiger’s wife, Elin is upset and has picked up and left.

Joslyn James wants the public to know that when Tiger allegedly ended their three-year love affair it was a devastating blow. People need to understand and not judge me for being with a married man.  I would have done things differently if Tiger hadn’t lied to me.  She will be posting on her website another round of more than 1,000 sex text messages.  James claims Tiger’s friends knew about their secret sex rendezvouses.

Joslyn James is not planning on attending the “Masters” tournament in Augusta.  At a news conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred, James says Tiger is dishonest, not truthful and she still deserves an apology.  The golf club is making arrangements for tight security.

Alleged #1 ex-mistress Rachel Uchitel, a former nightclub waitress says she was “f – – ked” by Tiger.  Woods wants the slut to shut up about their intimate relationship and has offered Rachel megabucks.  She’s reportedly agreed to no sharing of sex texts or femails with the public.

Tiger’s kindergarten teacher, Ms. Maureen Decker who has hired attorney Gloria Allred wants a public and private apology from Woods that he was a racist victim and she did nothing to defend him.  Tiger relates to an incident in Charles Barkley’s 2005 book, “Who’s Afraid of a Big Black Man” in which Woods states that on his first day at school as a 5-year-old he was attacked by sixth graders who tied him to a tree, sprayed the “n” word and threw rocks at me.

Reporters for the first time in months get five-minute interviews as Tiger finally comes clean saying he’s done some pretty bad things.  Tiger is hoping for a nice reception and a few claps when he returns to the Masters putting green.  It’s still a private matter between him and Elin.  He refused to discuss his ex-mistresses, but mentions his disgusting behavior.  I’m sure if my dad was still living, he would find everything that I did extremely disappointing. Woods says it’s hard to believe that was me.

On April 5th Tiger gives his first lengthy press interview at the Masters in Augusta, GA on how he messed up.  The world-famous golfer is looking forward to playing and competing.  Woods talks about “self-help.”  He feels bad missing his son’s birthday while in rehab.  No, Elin will not be on The Masters putting green.  Tiger has hired 90 private bodyguards just in case his ex-mistresses try to get on the scene shouting while he’s golfing.  It will be a threesome while Tiger competes with other golf superstars like Choi and Kuchar.

The mighty Tiger Woods expects loyalty from his close friends and employees, but doesn’t follow traditional family values.

How can Tiger be a role model?  He promoted himself as a down to earth family-man worth a billion bucks, then cheated on his wife and slept with other woman he wanted to f – – k.  Now Woods is hoping his fans will cheer and clap their hands.  What does this man stand for but a bunch of whores.  Will this be his legacy?

Tiger just made another hit with his “dick.” Allegedly he laid a 22-year-old next door neighbor.  Tiger’s got a “stiff dick for young chicks.”

Does this make you mad or sad?  There’s a new Nike ad featuring the voice of Tiger’s late dad.  Will sales spike for Nike?

Taunting banners meant for Woods fly high in the sky over Masters golf tournament.  Pissed ex-mistresses advertise “Did you mean Bootyism!” and “Sex Addict?  Yeah Right.  Sure.  Me too!”  These gals really got screwed.

Since Tiger lives on “Honor’s Way,” shouldn’t he have something nice to say then “You suck! Goddamnmit?”  He’s sure not making a hit with all his bullshit.  Tiger doesn’t want the whores anymore.  He’d rather stick to Buddhism than Bootyism?  Woods lost the U.S. Masters, but he still faces the disaster of  whores that want to score.

Here’s some more hot news from another whore.  Tiger’s alleged ex-mistress, Jaimee Grubbs, a former reality TV star was the first to prove that Tiger screwed up when he f  – – ked Jaimee.  Supposedly she sent scores of sexy text messages.  The police arrested Grubbs, but it wasn’t for drugs.  The 24-year-old LA cocktail waitress allegedly had been driving under an outstanding warrant for a suspended license when hauled off to jail.  Grubbs was released the next morning after posting a large sum of bail money.  Tiger’s alleged honey will be returning for a court hearing.

E! premiered the most interesting tidbits of Tiger Woods’ true life story and his rise to fame and glory.  It seems that when Tiger was in college his teammates called him “Urkel.”  Tiger felt it was racist and hurtful.

Woods next golf match will be at Quails Hollow Championship starting April 26th.

A rowdy drunken heckler pissed off at Tiger is tasered and arrested on the Players Championship golf course.

Shucks!  Tiger missed the fairways, putting greens and the cut.  Guess he had his mind on those sluts.

Elin has not been standing by her man as she ran away with the kids to Sweden.  Now Tiger has the chance to do some partying.

There’s now talk of a Cheating Celebrity Reality TV Show with Bombshell McGee Jesse’s alleged Nazi ex-mistress and Jamie Jungers Tiger’s alleged sexy ex-mistress.  The girls have both agreed to do it although they haven’t signed on the dotted line.

This should be on the book shelves the real Tiger story, his life in a new “tell-it-all” by Steve Helling journalist for People Magazine from 2002-2009 on Woods’ nasty car crash, rumors of partying and drinking to the alleged pursuits of sexcapades and cheating ways.  There’s a tiger on the prowl – meow!!

It’s official – Tiger quits The Players Championship after experiencing a bulging disc (dick).  Woods says he has a neck injury.  Probably a peck injury from those bitchy hoes.

Tiger Woods is back in the game and will be facing Phil Mickelson in Dublin, Ohio as the PGA Tour comes to the Jack Nicklaus Memorial Tournament.  It will be one of the biggest championship events.

Tiger’s rhythm shows a slight improvement at the Memorial, but he still lags behind Phil Mickelson.  Woods is off to the U.S. Open in two weeks at Pebble Beach.

For Tiger, it’s one disaster after another.  Now his swing coach, Hank Haney is quitting and Elin is heading to divorce court.  The wise Mrs. Tiger wants $750 million which supposedly adds up to every whore who was willing to give Tiger sex thrills.  Elin Nordegren is also asking for full custody of their two children, Sam and Charlie.  Was all this worth Tiger’s partying?

Woods had a rough weekend at Pebble Beach.  He lost the golf tournament when Northern Ireland’s Graeme McDowell shot  a 3-over 74 to win the U.S. Open.  NBC got a boost for the best peacock ratings.

Tiger and Elin have parted their separate ways after a bitter sweet divorce settlement was finalized in Panama City’s Bay County Circuit Court after trying to patch things up.  Tiger supposedly offered Elin $100 million to keep her mouth shut with a signed confidentiality clause plus the two children and child custody money.  Woods’ income has decreased to $600 million due this lost endorsements.  The two have nothing to weep about since Tiger keeps the  beautiful Jupiter, Florida Mansion and Elin gets the lsleworth home in Orlando.  Now that Nordegrin  is single she maybe returning permanently to Sweden.  Terms of the divorce were not revealed with the exception that Tiger and Elin will share parenting of their 3-year old daughter, Sam and 19-month-old son, Charlie.  The couple were married in October, 2004 on the island of Barbados.

In a news interview Tiger said he was sad and felt bad, but wanted to wish Elin the best of everything.  He has apologized for all his wrongdoings.  Elin remarked how she could never trust Tiger again for he was a serial cheater.

Tiger has been struggling while going through divorce proceedings.  He was not at all pleased with the way Ireland’s media interrogated him about his sex scandal and other personal questions so he canceled the Scotland trip to practice for the British Golf Championship.

Is Tiger trying to impress the ladies with his new goatee?  Sad Tiger can’t seem to get his act together at Ohio’s Bridgestone Invitational.

Woods has another bout with his fowl mouth.  He missed four putts and yells out “f – -k” at the British Open Championship. Tiger is having a rough season on the course ever since his divorce.  Now that he’s a single man Woods needs to play a good game at Barclays.  If he’s lucky to win its off to the Ryder Cup.

Now for some good stuff.  Trump dumps Tiger’s first ex-mistress, Rachel Uchitel from Celebrity Apprentice after hearing about her alcohol and pill addiction.  The porn star whore is now co-starring in Celebrity Rehab 4.  This 34-year-old sex addict decided to quit due to the stress she endured as Tiger’s mistress.  Producers have convinced Rachel to return to the show for after all fortune and fame is the name of the game.

Silence is golden as Rachel says she still loves Tiger who paid her $10 million.  He might have shut her trap, but she wants him back.  His ex-wife who went through hell got a lot more than the whore.  Elin Nordegren has decided to stay in the U.S. with her two children and not return to Sweden.

Looks like Tiger went from sad to glad as he’s purchased a  NYC lower Manhattan bachelor pad.  He’s taken out a $54 million dollar mortgage for his fashionable Jupiter mega mansion.

Elin’s big digs.  With her $100 million-dollar whopping divorce settlement she’s purchased 9,000 square feet of space for $12 million in North Palm Beach, Florida just ten miles away from Tiger’s Jupiter Island estate.

Tiger, the captain’s pick is off to the Ryder Cup from Oct. 1-3 at the Celtic Manor in Wales playing against 21-year-old newcomer Powerhouse Ricky Fowler.  He never won anything, but Tiger watch out for this guy’s perfect golf swing.  As there wasn’t enough room for everyone, the charter plane bumped a few players on the U.S. dream team including Tiger’s caddie.

Is Tiger in a rut?  He suffers his greatest loss at the Ryder Cup.  It was a soggy, wet and rainy course as an American leaves a putt short.  Putters try to keep up with the weather, but in the end the Europeans win through thick and thin.

Fans cheered Tiger Woods for the last five years.  Now the mighty Tiger is not in the #1 spot after England’s Lee Westwood claims victory.

Here’s another dame looking for fame. Devon’s sex affair with Tiger began in 2006.  The 29-year-old porn star Devon James claimed to have a baby boy with Tiger.  Her paternity lawsuit turned out to be a falsehood against Woods.  Devon arrested twice for prostitution in Florida is not acting alone on a Woods’ sex tape scam which involves her husband, Nick James and another man, Teneal Goyco who did not know he was taping for a commercial.  He dressed up as a Woods’ look alike in Nike clothing.  Goyco has hired an attorney.

Elin Nordegren has hitched up with a new boyfriend.  The two were seen kissing and hugging.  Woods had his chance until he pulled down his pants.  Tiger might be crushed, but it’s too late to make up.

It’s best after Tiger Woods’ mess to stop writing the lines for Conde Nast.  The Golf Digest publication calls it quits after their long-term sponsorship.

Woods hopes he scores at the 2011 European tour.  Martin Kaymer is the all time favorite with Woods barely trailing.  Tiger finally makes his best score.  The mighty Tiger roars!  All eyes are on Dubai as Woods vies for top prize.

Tiger falls short on the Dubai course.  Looks like he threw a fit on the 12th hole after missing a par putt when he spit.  The European tour fined him for bad behavior.  Tiger apologized for spitting on the green after losing.

Tiger Woods makes his first appearance on Jimmy Fallon “Late Night” show.  Jimmy makes fun and poke jokes at the golf pro.  Tiger took it in jest as Jimmy’s guest.

Woods has been trying to sell his 155 foot yacht “Privacy.”  Perhaps he needs the money.  Bought it back in 2004 for $20 million before his encounter with the whores.  The yacht was a wedding gift for ex-wife, Elin.  He tried offering it to her, but guess it was a pain in the neck to maintain.

Tiger dating blonde blue-eyed 23-year-old Northwood University student Alyse Lahti Johnson who looks like his ex-wife.  This chick digs rich dicks!

Tiger “f **ked” up at the Players Championship as he couldn’t finish putting due to a left leg injury.  Woods who is trying to heal his ailing left leg is walking on crutches with a protective boot says it’s doubtful he’ll play in any game for Memorial Day.  Tiger admits he’s not fit for any tournament, but was hoping to go to the U.S. and British Open.  A cool northern Irishman Rory Mcilroy is the youngest winner of U.S. Open for the 83 years of golf history.  For Woods it had to be very disappointing.

Woods gives his caddie and longtime friend Steve Williams the “old heave ho.”  Sorry I had to let you go Steve, but it’s time for a change Tiger writes on his website.  Stevie not taking it lightly.  Caddie shows his mad side after 12-year relationship stating he lost respect after Tiger’s extramarital affairs, but stuck by him through thick and thin.  Stevie believes Tiger is blaming me for not winning.

The Mighty Tiger hopes to get his career back into high gear at the August 2011 Bridgestone Invitational in Ohio after injuries to left knee and Achilles’.

Tiger has the golf blues over losing at Bridgestone Invitational.  Woods had another bad day at PGA.  Apparently Tiger’s flings have interfered with his swing.  Maybe the pro is having a hard time getting out of those holes.

It’s wedding bells for Tiger’s ex-mistress Rachel Uchitel who got married to boyfriend, Matt Hahn in Clark County, Nevada.  Is Hahn’s shlong bigger than Tigers?

Has Rolex gone out on a limb endorsing Tiger?  It’s the golfer’s first official endorsement in two years since his sex scandals.

Irate fan arrested after throwing a hot dog at Tiger’s face.

Mad Steve Williams Tiger’s ex-caddy makes harsh racial “black asshole” remark.  Stevie tells Tiger he’s sorry.

Woods gets into the good stuff winning U.S. President’s Cup.  Cheers to Tiger as he wins his first golf tournament in two years.

Tiger’s ex-wife Elin tears down her $12 million North Palm Beach, Florida mansion due to termite infestation.

Phil Mickelson soars while Tiger paws and stumbles at Peeble Beach, California.

Go get ‘em Tiger!  Before Tiger’s golf deal, he wanted to be on Navy SEAL team.

Tiger drops out of Doral Tournament due to recurring Achilles left knee injury.

We knew he could get out of the woods.  Tiger’s first winning streak in 30 months since losing “PGA” tour in 2009 claims victory on Saturday, March 24th in Orlando, Florida at Arnold Palmer Invitational.

Tiger throws” temper tantrum” kicking his club in a rage as winning the Masters fades.  He may be fined by the PGA even though Tiger apologized.

37-year-old Rachel Uchitel Tiger’s ex-mistress who got married to one-time NYC nightclub manager, hunky Matt Hahn expecting her first baby shows pregnant belly with Twit Pics.  On May 15, 2012 the proud parents welcome baby girl, Wyatt Lilly weighing 7 lbs, 10 oz.

On Saturday night, June 2nd Tiger Woods’ agent Mark Steinberg was arrested on DWI charges in the suburban New York town of Ardsley.

On Sunday, June 3rd Tiger came sailing in with a “Memorial Tournament PGA Victory” tying Jack Nicklaus’ record-setter.

Just in time for Father’s Day Tiger “The Womanizer” in a stunning comeback shares leaderboard with Phil Mickleson at U.S. Open in San Francisco.

Tiger must be pissed after experiencing problems on Thursday, July 5th at Greenbrier Classic.

On Sunday, July 22nd Woods chance of winning the British Open does not look hopeful after an ugly-triple bogey.

Heading to China Rory Mcllroy and Tiger will come face-to-face for a one day battle this October.  So how did Tiger experience a back injury at Barclays?  Obviously from all those whores he fucked in the sack.   It’s time to remember Tiger “The Womanizer” will be 37 in December.

31-year-old Justin Timberlake the “Trouble with the Curve” actor serving for the first time as United States Team Ambassador is seen with a big smile on his face at Ryder Cup gala giving Tiger Woods some brotherly love.

Woods missed final putt, scratches his head as he fails to win a single match walking off the course as the Europeans reached 14 points needed to win Ryder Cup.

Still crying over losing Ryder Cup, Tiger sets his sights for payback time against Rory McIIroy on October 29th in China.  Meanwhile Nike could sign Rory to a $200 million deal surpassing the current contract Tiger has with the company.

Tiger and McIIroy in new Nike “No Cup is Safe” commercial featuring the players on a driving range hitting shots that land in inappropriate spots like glasses, bowls and through windows.

On January 17, 2013 Tiger kicks off his first Euro and PGA tour.  He’s now #3 golfer in the world.  What happened to the Tiger?  Too much of a womanizer!

On January 18th Tiger who was shackin’ up wants ex-wife Elin back by offering her $200 million prenup.  She may be considering if he includes $350 million anti-cheating condition.  Tiger can’t wait to set a wedding date.

Tiger the womanizer couldn’t wait to back on the dating scene with a new blonde girlfriend Alyse Lathi Johnston who resembles his ex-wife Elin.  Alyse a 22-year-old student 13 years younger than him was arrested in Florida last year on suspicion of DUI downgraded to reckless driving misdeameanor.  Her father is an executive of a sports agency.

Now we hear 37-year-old Tiger has been turned on by U.S. Women’s Olympic Gold Medalist and Multi-World Cup Champion Alpine ski racer 28-year-old divorcee Lindsey Vonn.  Lindsey who injured two knee ligaments on Austria’s ski slopes may need reconstructive surgery was seen hobbling on crutches allegedly boarding Tiger’s private airplane claims she and the golfer are just “best friends with some rich benefits.”  We’re sure Tiger is having fun with Lindsey for a “Hole in One.”

Tiger and Elin seen in bloomin’ reunion.  No!  They’re just parenting.

Why should former 33-year-old Swedish model Elin have a care in the world when she’s dating billionaire coal magnate Cris Cline who owns a boat as big as a ship!

Tiger wins The Players Championship PGA tour as he beat Spain’s Sergio Garcia who hit three balls into the water.  The Tiger should have hugged his mother not his caddie.

Lindsey Vonn is turned on by Tiger as they jet ski with his kiddies.

According to Forbes annual list 37-year-old Tiger powerhouse golfer is highest-paid athlete in the world earning $78.1 million coming from endorsement deals since his sex scandal.

The sensational Woods #1 golfer after winning for the eighth time Bridgestone Invitational, but will there be greener pastures at Oak Hill?  Will Tiger capture that elusive 15th major title?  There’s more troubled waters as Tiger hired a contractor at his Florida mansion for a tremendous crater in the dining room to keep his $54 million Jupiter home from sinking into the Atlantic ocean.

Latest Tiger news is that his girlfriend Lindsey Vonn was cheating on him with some older hunky dude from the “SexyBack” singer’s tour.  Vonn has been selected to be NBC’s Olympian reporter.

More of Tiger’s woes as he withdraws from Honda Classic after 13 holes stating it was a lower back injury.

Tiger and Lindsey console each other.  Woods is improving slowly from a pinched nerve causing lower back surgery will miss “The Masters’ for the first time and Lindsey Vonn’s second knee operation kept her from skiing at Sochi.

Speaking of Tiger 34-year-old Elin Nordigren pokes some fun at him during her graduation speech telling 300 classmates when learning about his “15th” mistress she chased Woods with a golf club out of the house.

Tiger records his worst British Open finish.  Woods hits critical stretch to achieve successful season.  The Mighty Tiger fires Sean Foley his longtime swing coach.

* * * * * *

Shame Shame Jesse James

Jesse James, designer of custom-made bikes, cars and a Reality TV star took his wife, Sandra Bullock for the worst ride of her life. Sandy, always protect your blind side something you should have learned from the movie.

This Nazi hottie tattoo model and stripper-dominatrix Michelle McGee allegedly had an 11-month affair with Jesse.  While Sandy was filming “The Blind Side,” Jesse took Michelle for a hump ride. She thought he was separated from Sandy.  McGee has issued a sincere apology to Sandy via Australian TV.

Apparently Michelle hasn’t seen Jesse since the news of their love affair. Michelle claims James was “Mr. Nice Guy.” As far as Sandy is concerned he cheated and lied.

Jesse has apologized, but Sandy has made up her mind.  She’s packed her things and is determined to never go back to Jesse. Sandy is looking for a celebrity divorce attorney and possibility custody rights to Jesse’s daughter, Sunny.

Shame on Jesse James for philandering around the town.  It’s no secret that he cheated.  Stop by and ask the employees at his Long Beach motorcycle shop.  Jesse allegedly slept with 11 other women since 2005 when he married Sandy and one of his lady friends had a baby.

James posted ads over the Internet looking for sex.  Jesse had a “stiff dick for biker chicks” with tattoos and big boobs.  James claims he’s a distant relative of the most notorious outlaw of the 19th century the bank, train robber and murderer from Missouri, Jesse Woodson James who roamed the western plains.

Jesse was married for a few years to a porn star before getting hitched to Sandy.  James was recently awarded custody of his 6-year-old daughter, Sunny and Sandy stood by him through thick and thin.

Now there’s another mistress that just popped out of the closet. It’s Melissa Smith and she wasn’t invited to his biker shop for tea and biscuits. Smith and James allegedly had a wild two-year relationship.

Here’s some more shit how Jesse tried to make a hit with hottie Los Angeles photographer Brigitte Daguerre, his third mistress. He hired cute Brigitte to do a photo shoot.  It seems Jesse sent Brigitte a lot of spicy sexy texts.  The messages are up for sale if the price is right.  Brigitte did not find Jesse sexy.

Now Brigitte is stating that Jesse never wore his wedding ring. Does Brigitte mean when they were screwing?  The alleged #3 mistress has deep regrets over her sexual behavior with Jesse, but has no intention on making any money even though Brigitte had a few offers to sell her story.  She regrets the entire mess. Brigitte says that most of the stories are untrue.  Poor, poor Brigitte must have the blues.  Jesse never gave her anything, a home or money.

Jesse allegedly is worth $100 million and so is Sandy.  Jesse doesn’t really need Sandy’s money.  James claims he’s going to wise up like Tiger and has entered a 45-day rehab facility for his sexual desires. Sandy has no intentions on saving their marriage so Jesse has left the rehab facility.  Of course James claims it was because of privacy and security.

There has been a lot of gossip that Sandy and Jesse made a Nazi sexy tape filled with profanity.  No way says Sandy.

Since all this publicity Jesse has been stalked by a celebrity photographer.  Jesse fought back and might have to go to court.

Jesse’s three children have been living with Sandy in seclusion away from the limelight and paparazzi.

The comedian George Lopez has been seen visiting Sandy at her Hollywood Hills home ever since Jesse’s hanky-panky.  George and Sandy are “palsy-walsy.” Sandy helped George get his first big break.  Lopez thinks Sandy is just great.

It’s the first time in over a month that Sandy has been seen out in public taking a hike without her hubby, Jesse on his motor bike.  Just enjoying the fresh air and scenery.  She wasn’t wearing her beautiful French platinum wedding ring.  Neither was Jesse wearing his ring when spotted at the rehab facility.

Melissa Smith, Jesse James’ alleged mistress, his #2 screw, sent an apologetic fax to Sandy taking full responsibility for her sexual activity with Jesse.

Sandy has filed papers for divorce proceedings.  She’s experiencing the Jesse blues, but here’s the good news.  Several months ago Sandy and Jesse adopted a cute sweet African American baby, 3 1/2 month old boy named Louis Bardo who Sandy says will bring her lots of joy.  They gave the little boy a bris even though he’s not Jewish.  Neither is Sandra Bullock who apparently is a born-again Christian.

The word is out that Sandy and Jesse are selling their two-story 3,500-square-foot Southern California beach-front house.  It’s on the market as a private listing for around $6 million.  Interested parties will need to pre-qualify.  Sandy and her newly-adopted baby boy are living in a 1860s New Orleans mansion in the rich Garden District.

Jesse says he’s distraught – Wanted to get caught.  He was leading a double life, was not true to his children and wants to be forgiven for cheating on his wife.  Jesse will be appearing on national TV looking for sympathy.

Sandy gives her opinion of Elin Nordegren.  I’d get the baseball bat and keep hitting the dirty rat.

Sandra Bullock stuns everyone all decked out in a tight sexy black leather dress.  She receives a standing ovation and lots of cheers making her first public appearance at the Spike TV’s “Guys Choice” awards since splitting up with Jesse and adopting  a baby.  The Oscar winning actress was there to accept the “Troopers Choice” Award for entertainer of the year from members of the military.

Sandy picks up another trophy at the MTV Movie Awards ending the evening by grabbing 25-year-old actress Scarlett Johansson and starts smooching.  The two actresses discussed the idea with producers.

Jesse James fights with ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder who was planning to see their daughter, Sunny before Father’s Day.  No way says Jesse since the court ruled that a monitor be present he will not give Sunny to Janine today.

Sandy is now the happy divorcee while Jesse’s life has been turned upside down since the judge has ruled he will have to share Sunny with his ex-wife.

This time Jesse is not the brute in a civil lawsuit filed against him by a clothing company.  Jesse was smart to cut a deal with Walmart.  In the end he had to pay the clothing company, but the jury awarded him $6 million.

Lately Sandy has been fighting a crazy stalker and got a restraining order. Sandy wants to spend time with her stepchildren and family.  She has donated millions to charities like Hurricane Katrina, Haiti and Tsunami victims.

Jesse is once again on the scene dating TLC’s “L.A. Ink” tattoo artist and star, Kat Von D.  This Kat doesn’t scratch.  As a matter of fact Jesse is now engaged to Kat Von D.

His old flame Bombshell Michelle says Jess is just an “Average Joe” when it comes to sex.

It should be no surprise that Jesse and Sandy have moved on with their lives.  Jesse has settled in Austin, Texas and so has Sandy as she wants to be closely involved with his kids.  The decision was made long before Jesse was cheating.

Sandy and actor, Ryan Reynolds are seen partying on New Year’s Eve.  Forget the gossiping they were just dancing.  The two have been good friends and have no intentions on dating.

Jesse is preparing his memoir titled “American Outlaw” to be published by Simon and Schuster.  James who is the father of three children and has been married three times gives intimate details in a tell-it-all book covering his life, marriage and divorce to the famous Sandra Bullock.  He also reveals his recent engagement  to “L.A. Ink Star” Kat Von D. a Latino born in Monterrey, Mexico.

Sandy gives $1 million to Japan’s victims suffering from a horrific earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster.

Shame on you Jesse “pain in the ass” James for admitting publicly that Kat Von D outperforms sexually in bed than Sandy.  The happy couple split right on Sandy’s July birthday.  Kat gets screwed over tattoo under her arm of Jesse as a young boy that can’t be removed.  Forever linked to indelible ink.  Latest news is that Jesse and Kat Von D are as happy as can be.  The two lovers moved back in with each other.

Jesse James’ dame Kat Von D is more than a tattoo queen.  She’s now singing and having fun in the recording studio doing her first “tragic and romantic” album.

On November 15th 2011 Kat Von D tells Facebook friends about ending her bullshit relationship with Jesse James over cheating this past year with 19 women.  Kat scratches “sick pr**k” off her list.  She was seen strolling down the streets of West Hollywood with her new boyfriend DJ “Deadmau5″ after they got tattooed.

Jesse’s latest hard-on is four episodes of “Outlaw Garage” custom bikes and cars.  Can’t wait to see Jesse’s sweaty white tees.

For the fifth time, Jesse James is now engaged to Alexis DeJoria, a drag racer and daughter of hair care products billionaire Paul Mitchell.

Tattooed Kat Von D won a temporary restraining order against a man fan who allegedly bombarded her via Twitter and posted Kat’s home phone number.  Kat Von D lists her darkside gothic-themed $2.5 mil Hollywood Hills house hoping there’s a future with Deadmau5.

43-year-old “Outlaw Garage” star’s fourth time around saying “I Do” in Malibu to 25-year-old drag racer, Alexis DeJoria wearing white wedding dress with a bunch of tattoos.

* * * * * *

Ashton Kutcher – Hunky Alleged Cheater/Cougar Moore

Ashton Kutcher 32 angry at Star Magazine’s story claiming he was cheating on his 48-year-old wife, Demi Moore.  Is the alleged other woman a whore?  Her name is Brittney Jones, a 21-year-old who is probably looking for fortune and fame.  She told the magazine it was not some sex fling.  Ashton Kutcher is a great lover.  Ouch!  Instead of the bedroom they had sex in his house on the couch.  While Demi was out of town they were fooling around.  Kutcher is threatening the magazine with slandering.  Demi and Ashton are celebrating their fifth anniversary denying rumors of Ashton’s infidelity.  Looks like the two want to prove they are happily married as they are shown in a bed scene cuddling.  The couple were also seen hugging on the set of “The Reasonable Bunch” Demi’s new movie.  Meanwhile Moore has settled her lawsuit against Pacific an Australian magazine over copyright picture issues.

There’s more rumors going around that Ashton and Demi split on their sixth anniversary after the star of “Two and a Half Men” allegedly got naked and took a dip with busty blonde hottie Sarah Leal, a Texas girl after he dicked her in his bedroom at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego.  Meanwhile Ashton and Demi were scene wearing their wedding rings.  Ashton complains about mad Social Media while Demi is angry about Paparazzi.

Less is better than Moore!  November 17, 2011 was a sad day for parting ways, but Ashton and Demi have decided their six-year marriage is not working and are heading to divorce court.  Ashton couldn’t control flexing his pecker.  All he wanted was sex with young girls.  Demi was too old for Ashton’s world.  One time around for 33-year-old Ashton, but three times for 49-year-old Demi.  What more can we say except to wish them happier days.

Sadly Demi couldn’t take it any moore ever since Ashton cheated on her.  She wound up in the hospital after allegedly swallowing harmful drugs and may be heading to a rehab facility.  Rumer has it that Demi who is under emotional stress is now receiving “at-home spiritual counseling” while her children stay with their daddy, Bruce Willis.  Ashton was spotted heading up Demi’s driveway for some friendly visiting.

Devastated that she lost her role in the adult film “Linda Lovelace” portraying feminist activist Gloria Steinem it went to actress Sarah Jessica Parker.

Demi has become a “skinny winnie” in her pursuit to stay younger.  She looked for companionship after splitting up with 33-year-old Ashton hooking up with 24-year-old actor Zac Efron.  They went to a LA Venice Beach house party.  Soon after arriving home a friend called “911″ that Demi was semi-conscious and convulsing.

The latest news is that Demi has decided to enter the plush “Cirque Lodge Alcohol and Drug Rehab Center” in Sundance, Utah to cure her.  The “Margin Call” star realized that working was not the remedy.

Demi recently completed rehab and flew out of the country.  She was spotted on the beach in a private villa with tight security near Parrot Cay in the Turks and Caicos Islands located about 550 miles from Miami.  There’s no way Demi is gonna get groped as only access to island is by boat.

“Cougar” Demi

Her ex-hubby Brucie owns a home in Parrot Cay so maybe that’s where Demi is staying and shacking up with some hunky.

Even though Ashton is no longer Demi’s hubby he’s still supporting as a father figure her 23-year-old daughter Rumer.  She’s an aspiring singer performing at the Sayers Club in LA where Kutcher joined Rumer’s table and was happy to see him for her big night under the spotlights.

Ashton Kutcher has been seeing sexy singer Rihanna since December.  Two turtle doves “We Found Love.”  It has to be devastating for Demi.

Demi has been seen steppin’ out of post-treatment lookin’ like a “spring chicken.”  Can’t blame Demi for wanting to change her “Twitter” name after all that Kutcher shame.

On Thursday, May 3rd, Moore tweets no longer @Mrs. Kutcher to Twitter me@JustDemi.

Kutcher an “Indian Taker” is now a flaky “Popchips” dip.

34-year-old Ashton is heading to divorce court, but may not be ready for an ugly battle with soon-to-be 49-year-old ex-wife Demi over their huge fortunes.  “Two in a Half Men” actor has moved on with his life dating “Friends with Benefits” actress Mila Kunis seen kissing and holding hands in the Roman City of Fountains.  Demi’s friends say she is “very jealous and distressed” over her ex-hubby’s relationship with the actress.

Well it didn’t take long for Demi to recover from her wounds as she reportedly is dating 26-year-old handsome Vito Schnabel, a younger man that Ashton.  Demi met Vito at Naomi Campbell’s “50th” Birthday party.  Vito the cougar tamer has dated model Elle McPherson and actress Liv Tyler.

Demi brings her cute pussy to a Hollywood party.  Who wouldn’t want to see Demi’s pussy!

50-year-old Cougar Moore is dating Lindsay Lohan’s ex-boyfriend 31-year-old restaurant owner of Viper Room and Pink Taco hot Harry Morton who’ve been secretly meeting.

Finally Demi is filing for divorce, but of course she wants Ashton to give her alimony.

The “Hollywood Couple” Ashton and Mila have been romancing in a horse-drawn carriage while exploring the cobblestone streets and ancient bridges in Belgium.  There’s still no ring on her finger.

Mz. Demi is into a new diver boyfriend with a pearl inserted into his penis.  The pearl stimulates the girls!

Demi and Ashton have divorced.  He’s finally his own boss.  Ashton puts an engagement ring on Mila’s finger.  The couple is expecting a baby!

Congratulations to Demi at age 51  she nails new boyfriend a young 27-year-old drummer sexy tattooed Sean Friday.

Ashton and Mila celebrate the birth of their baby girl Wyatt Isabelle.

* * * * * *

Arnold Schwarzenegger – The Faker

Arnold tried to cover up 20 years of lies, but Patty Baena his assistant and housekeeper that bore his love child threatened to expose Arnold who would have to admit he cheated on Maria.   When Maria Shriver knew that Arnold screwed their merry maid, she threw her cheating louse out of the house.  Will his wife and family forgive the pig?  Does Arnold Schwarzenegger intend to continue paying for his illegitimate son?  When all is said and done Schwarzenegger’s new acting role could be a groovy screwin’ movie?  They say it’s animated about the maid he laid.

There’s more sensational allegations that Schwarzenegger took taxpayers’ money for wild sexual parties.

This smart ass “Wise Guy” – Schwarzenegger’s “True Lies.”   Mildred Patricia Baena’s ex-husband Rogelio Baena, a Columbian native whose name appears on the birth certificate plans to sue Naughty Arnold and Mildred Patricia (Patty) Baena as they engaged in conspiracy falsifying a public document, a serious criminal act under California law.

The “merry maid” gives public interview how she got screwed.

Maria Shriver heading to divorce court.  She wants spousal support after cocky Arnold admitted to an affair out-of-wedlock.  Maria hired Laura Wasser a top LA lawyer.  The two are seeking joint custody of their minor children.  Former California Governor’s fortune is estimated to be between $500-$700 million.  There’s no prenup agreement, but Arnold is willing to give Maria more than she’s asking for.  Arnie will pay Maria spousal support and legal fees.

Maria buys $10 million mansion right down the street from Arnold the cheat.

It seems Maria is not seeking divorce proceedings because of religious reasons.  She’s been seen furniture shopping with Arnie.

Arnold a former bodybuilder admits he’s had multiple affairs and is still trying to salvage his 25-year marriage.  He wrote a tell-it-all memoir “Total Recall” the guy with a pair of balls insists he loves Maria Shriver who filed for divorce after finding out he fathered a child in their house.  Arnie says it was nothing but a fling, one of the stupidest things he’s ever done which produced a baby around the time Maria gave birth to their fourth son.  He’s kept secrets from Maria like not telling her I’m going to run for governor and trying to conceal heart surgery.  Hey Arnie, anyone of us is “Expendable” including you.

* * * * * *

Anthony “Cheater” Weiner Dilemma

Why do some politicians lie?  Do they feel they’re above the law?  Now that everybody saw lewd photos of New York congressman’s weiner, he finally admits it’s his “p – – -k” after sending Facebook and Twitter pics of himself and “dick” bare chested in jockey boxers.  Will his wife, Huma Abedin and the public forgive him for his sins?  They say a “p- – -k” has no conscience.  Democrats send Weiner to the cleaners.  Wife says she still loves her “kosher” weiner on a honey bun.  Congressman Anthony Weiner a “sick p – – – k” needs the help of a psychiatrist.

After pressure from Republican and Democrat house members Weiner finally resigns.  The congressman is more fortunate than the rest of us as he will be receiving a pension worth a whopping $1.3 million exit payment for serving 12 years that’s covered by the Federal Employee Retirement System.

Weiner offered job with Spitzer “In the Arena.”  Client #9 gets fired so Weiner gets a “blow job.”

* * * * * *

Chris Hansen: To Catch a Predator – To Catch a Cheater

The 51-year-old married NBC Anchor man allegedly carried on an affair for several months with 30-year-old blonde bombshell Kristyn Caddell, a Florida journalist and television reporter.  The charming couple were caught on video camera by National Inquirer spending the night at Cadell’s Palm Beach apartment.  Handsome Hansen who lives in Connecticut with his wife and children has been seen at some ritzy Florida hotels dining and wining Cadell.

* * * * * *

Kristen Stewart blew it!

“Twilight” boyfriend Robert Pattinson moves out of the house they share after Kristen’s fling taking off her undies with “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders who also took off his underwear for an affair.  Stewart offered an apology stating she was very sorry, but this did not carry over well with Pattinson who is deeply brokenhearted and humiliated from all the publicity.  Rupert Sanders’ beautiful wife who is a model and co-star in Snow White tweeted “wow” when she probably needed a crying towel.  Sanders has since apologized saying he’s extremely distraught about the pain he’s caused his family and praying that we can get through this together.

Pattinson admits he can’t live without Kristen.  She begs his forgiveness.  Vampire has a bloody night with Snow White.  Lovely maiden nails him to the coffin

To cheat and lie is against all rules.  Fools drown when they become the public clown.  You’re caught in a nasty trap and wind up dead or the stupid sap.  The price for a piece of tail could land you in jail. The public’s view is important to you.

It’s always wise to apologize.  Stand up to the bitter disgrace and admit your wrongdoing because sooner or later the other party may sue you.  Are court proceedings worth your family’s shame and pain?  In a civil lawsuit the dame has to reveal her name.  She obviously will receive media fame.

If a woman cheats she’s a sneak, but when a man cheats he’s a “low-down” creep.  Beware of that extramarital affair.  You may never repair your marriage from the damage and despair.  The biggest fear is your good reputation and the end to a wonderful career.  Think twice before getting into bed with that brunette, blonde or redhead.

© Copyright 2011 – 2014

Created by (Francke) the Lyrical Yankee

aka The Jester from Westchester (Satire)

All Rights Reserved

Cheats try to be discreet, but in the end it never works for these jerks!  Someone always gets hurt.  God I know not what I do – Only that I’m a fool.

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